hardware hunny
m4w 25
(bushwick)
you’re the mixed girl that works at the hardware place on broadway. i was in there the other day. i bought a box of zinc-plated carriage bolts size 1/4x1”, box of 5.
i actually need 1/4x1” zinc-plated hex bolts, box of 5.
i already opened the box.
i have no receipt juddy juddy dumpling.
juddy steelmaiden, can you work something out with your manager? don’t make me steal the fuckers. so when i almost certainly get you fired, slide over to my spot and make a big scene outside my building. and don’t forget those bolts!

–over and out.

 

babyoil
m4w
25
(bushwick) 
i need to exert dominance over a female stranger.
help me flex my bulbous ego.
send me a pic of ur tummy slick with babyoil.
make it spicy and you’ll get a reward.

(u won’t get a reward, idiot).

proof is in the pudding, include these word in your snapz, “in dreams, the image of an animal, a primitive, or a child is commonly a symbolic expression for the source of help and healing”

–arite then.

​

huge loser for babes
m4w
25
(bushwick)
i’m a pretty huge loser. check it out, you should give me money. i’ll treat you special even if you’re heinous. i’m seeing someone, but she’s a tame fuck. its like, how can someone whose ambition you envy, a biddy who inspires you, and who you’ve blown wads to, or over, whichever, be like, a silent receptacle in bed? or on the roof that first time...

–really tho.

​

eccentric type artist dickhead
m4w
25
(bushwick)
self-employed (unemployed) elitist looking for taller than me dim-witted beezy to remind me of, and never hold a candle to, a past partner. puffy nipples a plus. i’m not gonna be famous or anything but i do say some amazing things during boning. can we go to your crib tho? my roommate’s girlfriend is always here and theres no way you look as delicious as that fuckin' dorkette. so that might be awkward. or piss-your-leggings-as-pants-funny. i’ll take those leggings, thanks.

–we’re done here.